Michael Jackson's Trials

Michael Jackson's Trials


The Ongoing Trials of The Late Michael Jackson

Saturday, October 02, 2004

Healing Hands

It is reported that Dr. Sebi, a herbalist who claims to have weaned Michael Jackson off an alleged addiction to pain killers, is going to sue Jackson for $380K.

Sebi claims this is money due to him for his treatment of Jackson.

True or not, Sebi claims that he still "loves Michael"; how very reassuring!

Friday, October 01, 2004

The Jackson Five (Mark II)

Sholeh Bocchelli, an actress based in Los Angeles, is reported to be carrying Michael Jackson's in vitro twins.

Apparently Sholeh Bocchelli was originally going to have four, but aborted two in order to save the remaining two.

She is, according to the report, in hiding in the USA; as a result of threats from "deranged Jackson fans".

Jackson has denied on his website that he is the father of the twins.

Bocchelli is reported to have said that she will have DNA tests done after the birth of the boys, who have been named Jean-Pierre and Maruizio.

In the event that this story is true, the new born will bring the number of known children belonging to Jackson to five; enough to start his own group!


Michael Jackson's attempt to sue Xtrajet, over the alleged videotaping of his conversation with his lawyer as they flew to Santa Barbara, has been delayed.

The judge agreed to postpone the trial date from November to May 2005, despite protests by Xtrajet; because Jackson's criminal case is getting in the way, and Jackson's ex lawyer is defending Scott Peterson who is accused of murdering his wife and unborn son.

Xtrajet believe the entire case is a publicity stunt.

Jackson has attempted to avoid giving a deposition for the trial, but the judge has denied that request.

Thursday, September 30, 2004

Inaccurate Reporting

It seems that the recent report about the Yale conference on Michael Jackson, not discussing the child molestation allegations, was inaccurate.

It is now reported that K. C. Arceneaux's paper, "Michael Jackson: Media and Mythologies," did raise "facts" about the child molestation case against Jackson; that apparently have been suppressed or omitted by media.

The paper, it seems, also explained how the media taps into mythologies; in order to raise ratings and "sell" the news.

No surprises there then!

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Love Child

In a splendidly speculative article, The Times of India reports that Michael Jackson has a 19 year old love child.

Allegedly Michael Jackson told his friends that the 19 year old, improbably named Omer Bhatti, was born after a one nighter with a Norwegian woman.

It seems that Omer, if reports are to believed, looks like Jackson and has stayed at Neverland.

Needless to say, the story could be complete and utter tosh; others have claimed that Omer is not the real son of Jackson. Neither, would I say, is Omer Bhatti a particularly Norwegian name.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Jackson Released

Michael Jackson's father, Joe, has been released from hospital; where he was being treated for bleeding ulcers.

Whilst he was in hospital, he was visited by relatives; it is not reported as to whether Michael turned up or not.

Monday, September 27, 2004

Bleeding Ulcer

Joe Jackson, Michael's beloved daddy, went into hospital on Friday with 2 bleeding ulcers.

Undoubtedly the stress of the trial must be getting to him.

His "eyes and ears", Debra Opri, is reported to have said that the operation went fine.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

Place Your Bets

It is reported that BetOnSports.com are offering a veritable smorgasbord of betting opportunities on the Michael Jackson trial.

Those that have a gambling bent, can bet on Jackson's guilt or innocence; or take a punt on whether Eminem will buy Neverland.

Side bets can also be placed on whether President Bush will be the first human to land on Mars, who Donald Trump will hire in "The Apprentice" and how much weight Mary Kate Olsen will gain.

There is no limit on the ways that humans will find to waste their money.